Styles In Nollywood Movies You Should Be Used To By Now (Part 1 of 10)

Let me save you the stress of undergoing the agony of watching another Nollywood movie by telling you how the film will start and end. This is to prove to you that the present industry is not all we say it is. My opinion is- Nollywood is a brain drain! SIMPLE! Nothing learned, nothing achieved. My new 10-part series of blog posts on the subject of themes and scripts will reveal this to you. Enjoy!

THE ROYAL PALACE MOVIES
Possible Titles – The Prince’s Love, Chioma, the Village Girl, Love in the Jungle, When You Are Mine, The Beautiful Girl etc
Possible Cast – Olu Jacobs, Ngozi Ezeonu, Mike Ezuronye, Mercy Johnson, Jackie Appiah
1.    In a 21st Century typical Nigerian Movie with a palace as the plot, the palace building must be a duplex with two pillars, interlocking stone drive-way and outdoor garage without a car.
a.    There must be palace guards in Uniform as well as maids who cover just their breast and waist, with beads on their necks and head and they must walk about barefooted (This NEVER happens in the real world from my experience) 99.9% of the time, they don’t talk, just follow like zombies behind the Igwe, Lolo or the Prince/Princess, that is except the main character is one of them and most often will end up marrying the prince or princess.
b.    The Igwe’s seat is always elevated and placed at the center of the sitting room and will always have two guards standing on the left and right, the other settees will always be for the Elders/Chief s in Council. Lest I forget, there must be a tigers skin lying somewhere around and the King characteristically when angered or apprehensive must let out that trademark scream “Guards!” even if they are standing at shoulder length.
c.    If Ngozi Ezeonu is the Lolo/Queen Mother, most likely her son the Prince is in love with someone below his status. She’s always been the kind-hearted queen character in most Nollywood Movies. If Patience Ozokwor plays the same role, then she is a Wicked Queen who disrespects her husband the King and spoils her children silly. The protagonist of the movie will always be persecuted by her, but eventually they will triumph and take over the throne. Patience never really dies in any movie I know.
d.    The actors who have played Igwe/King roles include – Olu Jacobs, Late Enebeli Elebuwa, Late Justus Esiri among others. If Pete Edochie ever becomes King, he probably killed the previous King to get there. Most times, he is the Wicked High Chief or Onowu (the King’s right hand) who uses his influence to persecute others. Chinwetala Agwu seldom or never plays king roles, he is always the cunny and sly and has to fight with his fellow Chiefs over any issue of interest to him. Let’s not forget his now irritating sobriquets that differ from film to film.
e.    The characters in these kind of Nollywood movies are artificial in nature i.e. asides the delivery of their lines. Princes/Princesses adorn themselves with ornaments and dressing that could best suit a grand occasion. The Lolo/Queen always looks resplendent with makeup, accessories and all, never out of place, perpetually ensconced roundabout with a bevy of ladies-in-waiting and if you notice, they are always well nested on a grand settee in the comfort of their large and well furniture sitting room.  Her bodily ornaments cannot be complete without the trademark horsetail with which she uses to ward off imaginary flies and mosquitoes.
f.    The Igwe/King sometimes has a verbal encounter with his son over the choice of bride he wants. On the flip side, it is the Queen that has the problem with the supposed bride, only the King can partially assuage the situation and in this kind of script, the King is an annoying weakling who cannot control his own wife.
g.    Nollywood in these instances promotes the “use & dump” sickness that is pervading relationships and society today and this is evident in such movies. In almost all of these movies centered on royalty, there will always be a female character (“The Fiance”) who has been faithfully waiting at the side of the prince, hoping to get married someday to him. When she senses threats of an intruder (in this case-Mercy Johnson, Tonto Dike, Ini-Edo or Chika Ike), they deservingly throw a punch at these characters in a bid to assert territoriality as they should in their rights, but as the scrip is always written to be, they always loose the battle EVERYTIME!
h.    The Characters played by Mercy Johnson, Ini-Edo, Tonto Dike or Chika Ike are always cast as poor village girls from a fatherless home (always going to the stream to fetch water with their friends, frequently engaging in scuffles with their peers and eliciting the admiration of the Village hunter/Palm Wine Tapper or the Village Drunk).
i.    As the script goes, they capture the interest of the already betrothed prince (most likely Mike Ezuronye) and after a long series of persecutions from the Royal Family, jealous age mates and all, they end up becoming princesses. 99% of the time, the animosity in the Palace comes from the Prince’s Sister or Mother of Both.