The Minister & The Parable of Jollof Rice

If you are in tune with the news on social media, you will definitely be in the know of the epic goof of 2017 given on behalf of the Minister of Information, Alhaji Lai Mohammed in an interview with CNN’s Richard Quest. Just to remind you my dear reader, Richard Quest asked the Minister “Which country makes the best Jollof Rice” to which even to the daftest, totally incoherent and irredeemably dumb fellow, the answer would be only too obvious. His response was “Mmmmmm, Senegal”. Richard Quest repeated the word “Senegal?” as though trying to give our “Honorable” Minister a lifeline to recover should his thinking faculty have frozen at the presence of the renowned CNN Business & Travel anchorman, only for the former(or Emeritus) top APC Propagandist replied in a tone synonymous with Nigerians as “a matter of fact”- “Yes, Senegal!” All this happened with the minister grinning sheepishly.

Historically, to say that CNN and other western media have been anything but less than generous to Nigeria in terms of reportage is overstating the obvious. And now we have the leeway to sell ourselves, we mess it up royally. Quest himself expressed his disappointment at the Minister’s answer to the question whose answer was a no-brainer when he said “I hear a shock the country, I hear a sigh”. My friend Chinonso Ogbogu in his Facebook article on the subject put it laconically:

From a careful review of that interview, and judging by the reaction of the Minister, one can easily argue that he didn't see it coming when Richard Quest placed the plate of jollof rice on the table, turned to him, and asked the knockout question:

"Who makes the best jollof rice?"

Watch it again - Lai Mohammed was first jolted and then he rolled his eyes and head like a toddler yet to grow a tooth, gave a nervous smile, and answered the question in a way that proved that he lacked the readiness to spontaneity to promote Nigeria, given the fact that that's what his job entailed. Simply put, his readiness to spontaneity in that instance as the Nigerian Minister of Information was weak and largely ineffective. Imagine you were the Minister of Information whose standing responsibility it is to always sell and project Nigeria positively to the rest of world and you were asked:

"Who makes the best jollof rice?"

In answering this question, you have three options:

1. Open your mouth and say nonsense.

2. Just answer the question (which was what Lai did)

3. Or, take the same question and strategically "Link" it up to your objective (sell Nigeria) and drive the conversation to a whole new level using the "Linkage to Objective".

Here's an example:

Richard: "Who makes the best jolly rice?"

Lai Mohammed: "Well, there are many countries that make jollof rice but the Nigerian jollof is particularly unique. It's not just the best in the world, but it also tells a unique story about us as a people and how hospitable we are. In fact, this is another reason why anyone should visit Nigeria because it's one meal you don't want to miss."

Did you notice what I just did? It's called Linkage to Objective.

I seriously doubt the Minister understands the concept of Linkage to Objective and I also question the ability of his assistants to understand it either; peradventure they do grasp the notion, he most likely doesn’t listen to their advice if they are even bold enough to speak up. So it was, that by the actions/statement of our supposed National Spokesman and Official Brand Marketer of the Federal Republic, the citizens of the Republic of Senegal have been given unmerited endorsement and should as well grant our Minister the portfolio of Ambassador Plenipotentiary/Diaspora; our brothers and arch rivals Ghana have been given ample fodder for jokes and Nigerians have just been reassured that we don’t have the right people in sensitive places(and may never will; if this rubbish persists).

Sadly, he is not the first Minister of Information that has goofed in epic proportions; his cabinet colleague, the beret adorning Minister of sports, Solomon Dalung fired two salvos first in April 2016 when he wrote on his Facebook page “I attended a Footbal Match between Internally displaced persons IDPs in Gongola State”  and in August the same year while addressing the Mikel Obi led U23 team stranded in the US, he said “Our U-23 team suffering in the United States of Nigeria, What are there for? Because they are U-23 and they went to US and they are having problems, does that become our business” Labaran Maku in 2010 at the launch for former President Goodluck Jonathan’s book ‘My Friends and I” stated in public “We want to thank the President for bringing Facebook to Nigeria”.

Such is the malaise we suffer in Nigeria where Presidents would rather appoint loquacious politicians as best fit for the position of Information Minister. Or even when we attempt to bring to question the suitability of some appointees to certain positions. Whats wrong with an Adesua Onyenokwe? John Momoh? Cyril Stober? Funsho Phillips? Leke Alder? Alibaba? Eugenia Abu or even upgrade the Special Assistant on Diaspora Hon. Abike Dabiri to Minister?

Why can’t we reach across the political divide and pick professionalism and performance over politics? Does it matter what political leaning he or she is from if they can deliver on their mandate? Leaders should find the best fit to communicate the ideas of their mandate and manage the image of their administration not just allot people with sensitive responsibilities of this nature as reward for hardwork. To millions of Nigerians and myself inclusive, perhaps the condiments of the Nigerian Jollof rice has put the final nail to the coffin on the conviction of this government to change this country as they promised.

Go and get some experienced brand and communication experts in your employ sir and save us this embarrassment, we need to see change! Besides, you are the supposed progenitor of “Change begins with me”